Wait? Did you just say becoming a parent can make you better in bed?
Well, kind of. This is NOT a people with children are somehow better people post. Let’s just say that sex looks vastly different have after having children. While having kids has been dubbed a complete sex slayer and lessens libido, there are indeed ways in which being parents can make sex better!
Remember those days of laying all tangled up in bed without a plan or fear of interruption? Me neither. We trudged through over a decade of infertility to have children, and I knew what I was getting into. Trust me, if non-negotiable nookie nights didn’t kill our lust and love for each other, children certainly weren’t going to either!
You have to look at things from a new angle after having children.
Let’s look at the ways we still keep knockin’ boots and keep it hot:
There is an endless to do list post reproduction. The toys in the living room, dishes in the sink, and the mountain of laundry. They all seem to take a priority, but watching your other half cleaning has suddenly become a version of foreplay! Good heavens, a man doing the dishes is SEXY!
Time is in short supply, but parents learn how to manage it to the max. “We have fifteen minutes left of nap time. Want to clean the shower with me?” Ahem.
Parents learn to get super creative and more spontaneous with their intimacy! I’m completely guilty of grabbing the husband during a game of Hide and Go Seek and making out in the laundry room. Parents know they have to seize the opportunity!
It’s not just about the bedroom. Parents know they have to find privacy in the oddest locations! This forced creativity can certainly spice things up!
In order to get your other half to the desired location, at the appropriate time, and to fill them in on the plan, you must work as a team and form your own secret language. Parents become experts on how to talk over and around their children in code. Now, just let that code be of the suggestive variety.
After becoming parents, it’s well documented that there is a struggle to adjust to new and changing roles. Switching from Mom or Dad to Wife or Husband, is a tough switch. Learning those new roles, is a sturdy foundation for role playing in the bedroom.
Parents know exactly how precious time is. This is something we knew prior to parenting. Don’t get me wrong on this one. However, the value of that time increases exponentially when you know that someone will need a sippy cup of milk or be up at five am. We know to take it when we can find it!
No privacy? No worries. Parents have cuddling down to a science! You know now that it’s more about the intimacy than just the deed.
The kids will eventually head back or to school, and we know how to make the best use of a lunch hour!
Inhibitions of the past are gone! You no longer have the privacy you were once afforded. Regardless of how you became a parent, you are most likely guilty of finishing off the mac and cheese. Those two pounds just aren’t as terrifying as they used to be. Fact is, you are the only other naked person in the room! Your spouse will be excited about the experience. It’s highly unlikely they are focusing on those mysterious two pounds. (Ok, two pounds is way wishful thinking for me!) Regardless, rock it!
Parents often put their children first, and their own needs take a back seat. While a certain amount of this is healthy, be sure to not overdo it ok? With this new shift from “me” to “them,” things in the bedroom should be much more giving!
Yes, that’s boogers on my left shoulder and a coffee stain running down the middle of my shirt. That’s right, I’m one sexy madam! Throw your head back and laugh! Parents know it’s ok to laugh about the hilarity of the situation and to roll with it. Boogers be damned. This is going down!
Parents spend so much time dishing out directions, that they become abler to articulate exactly what they desire in the bedroom!
See, it’s totally plausible to use the lessons learned while parenting and apply them to an even better sex life! Enjoy!