Wait, I thought this was a travel website! It is! We had to travel a long way to get to this point as a family of six! How far you ask? Let’s just say that I still physically and emotionally carry the scars of a decade long battle with infertility to create our not so little family. While I am no longer running to the reproductive endocrinologist for scans, blood draws, or transfers, I still have a box of progesterone that has long since expired in my closet. We are no longer filling out paperwork, frantically cleaning before a social worker visit, or waiting… Oh the waiting! My journey to parenthood has reached the terminal, and we have now boarded a new train barreling towards distant lands we have yet to explore!
Now we shuttle children in four different directions and have bonus family through the miracle of adoption! Perhaps the emotional roller coaster we were on to become parents helped us prepare for parenthood in ways we hadn’t anticipated. That moment of fear that things won’t work, that’s still there just only directed towards our own abilities to be quality parents. The fortitude and might it took to take that next step in treatment or towards finalization, that’s an asset that’s needed to raise incredible and resilient children. For all of that, I am thankful.
Infertility has afforded me the opportunity to really realize just how deeply I love and appreciate my children. That’s not to say that those who don’t go through it don’t love or realize the depth of their love for their kids. No, it’s only saying that we have another layer of gratitude. When your future is placed in the hands of doctors, social workers, agencies, or other outside forces, you have to learn flexibility and to adapt. Perhaps this is the basis of how we manage to travel with four children and not lose our minds completely!
#1 Wasn’t what we expected but turned out even better!
So, my message to those of you still struggling, hang in there. Those wounds are deep and the pain feels as if it is carving valleys into your soul. I have no platitudes to offer. Just know that you aren’t alone, and those of us who have walked before you understand.